Allen is supposed to come home June 22nd or sometime before July 2nd...hopefully.
I miss him so much.
Saturday, I celebrated our annual Deng lab party with my fellow lab mates at the FSU Reservation. I have been with my lab almost 2 1/2 years and at least 2 times a year we have a celebration. Not once have I been able to show off my husband. I can't wait until he doesn't have weekend reserve training or isn't deployed across the world.
I can say with absolute certainty that I think about him at least 3 times a day...when I wake up, when I'm eating lunch, and when I go to bed...that doesn't even include all of the other little flashbacks and flash "forwards" I have throughout the day.
When Allen was here, I'd set an alarm for myself so that I could get up early. I'd have to be up earlier because I always needed to be at school before he needed to be at work. While I was showering he'd try to get a few extra winks in. At least that was goal...I would set the alarm and no joke it would go off at least twice before I'd make it out of bed. He would get so frustrated with me about the fact that I wouldn't get up with my alarm. I knew though, deep down, that he LOVED the fact that I wouldn't get out of bed yet. That's what I miss...the cuddle time.
When Allen and I were dating, we were both in undergrad. I was finishing my degree
and working at the Center for Student Leadership. Just about everyday at lunch time, we would get to be together. Often, we would sneak away to his townhome 5 mins from the campus and have lunch and a movie. Don't ask me why, but more often than not, we'd pick up taco bell. Once Allen got deployed I couldn't eat taco bell. I couldn't even drive by one!...which was difficult because there's one by the campus. Since his R&R, however, I've wanted nothing BUT taco bell (I haven't acted on it but maybe 2 or 3 times). Just seeing one makes me miss Allen. And after a long day of lab work, teaching, and learning I looked forward to coming home to Allen and to preparing dinner to eat with Allen and mostly to settling down to sleep next to Allen. Our bed is just so empty without him. It's amazing. He left June 1st...and yet almost a year has past and I'm still not comfortable going to bed without him. The night just doesn't seem to end. I watch TV, I play my uke, I read, I work, work, and work...never at peace...In fact the only nights I sleep well are those that end in me falling asleep on my cell phone to him singing or to him telling me about his day.
57 days seems like a drop in the bucket compared to 400, but still...it's 57 more mornings, meals, and goodnights that I can't spend with my bestfriend.
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