quest to find the motivation

My motivation has dropped here. Like super low.

On reflection, I think a lot of it has to do with the office area I work in. There is no team building and little communication. I spend of my time alone at work, even with people sitting all around me, either working or working TV shows. There are no real opportunities for advancement or to stand out.


What's worse is- My God feels so far from me.
My pray life, which was atrocious before (if I am honest with myself), has gotten even worse. I've only been to church once here in Iraq. And only got to go a handful of times between leaving home and arriving here. (In my defense about church attendance, I've had training and work scheduled every Sunday since June. So its only been on training/work breaks in schedule that I've gotten to go. There are two main protestant services I can attend on Sunday's here-0830 and 1830. Today, I had work in the morning- from when I showed up at 0700 till about 1300. And in the evening, I had to stay at work till shift change at 1900.) I don't have my Christian music CD's. I don't have a chance to listen to sermons like I used to and so enjoy. (We aren't allowed to listen to music while walking around or running. There is no Christian music on the server at work. I can't get sermons to download from my usual site.)

Only one person in my sigint mission cell goes to church, and she works in the night shift. And I don't think she's been yet here in Iraq. (But she went with me everytime in Phoenix and Ft. Lewis.) My point is, that there's only the two of us, one on each shift, with about 13 people on each shift.

-Edit, maybe an hour later- When I first loaded this blog, I meant to talk about how Sunday's are slow and more businesses and people should work on them, because I have to work on Sunday's and I want to do some banking.